You only have one intimate partner

You know the saying, when you get married, you don't just marry the guy, but his whole family too! Well, to a certain degree that is true, but when you're living with your in-laws, you need to take this quote with a pinch of salt.

The truth is, you have married into his family; but that doesn't mean that your MIL is now your lifelong partner. You have one intimate partner - your dh. He is the one you share your life with.

Try to see your in-laws as another family that you live with. Two families living together under one roof. You show common courtesy and get along amicably, you also respect them as they are older than you. But after that, you're pretty much free to do what you want. It's your life, so live it the way you want to.

Always try to take responsibility for your own duties - if you are in charge of the cooking or the shopping, make sure you keep your end of the bargain. As long as you have done your required duties, go and have some fun! Lie down, take a nap, phone a friend - and if your MIL doesn't like that, don't let it bother you.

A lot of DILs feel obliged to have breakfast, lunch and dinner with their in-laws - even when their dh is at work. If you actually enjoy spending all your time with then, then that's great, and theirs no reason to change. However, if you resent not being able to live your own life, start to do things differently.

Perhaps you could have breakfast early - or say your not hungry and have it a little later? Perhaps you start taking your lunch to your room and say that you are going to have it upstairs.

If your in-laws disapprove of you not doing everything with them - try to put your life into perspective... is this really what you want to do? Are you being true to who you really are? If you are not, I encourage you to start doing things a little differently. One step at a time, it will make the world of a difference.

I speak from experience.

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