"Most Pakistani MIL believe their dil should be doing this for them any way so it never works, i don't think Sally can even imagine what Pakistani/Indian MIL expect from their dil."
Hi there!
I don't know much about your situation, so i cant really give a specific reply, only a general one. I do know that a lot of Eastern women (including me) feel bitter about their MIL's behaviour... but oftentimes its a case of the DIL being made to feel like the "bad guy". If we get over that - and accept that MIL will always think of us as the bad guy (due to jealousy, feeling left out, etc.) - but not let it affect us and still be nice - wouldn't that be progress?
I know a lot of DILs who put up with things they shouldn't have - I sure did! Now we feel resentful. Below the belt insults should not be tolerated, nor should unreasonable requests - and if MIL has a problem with that - let her! But do stay your sweet self whilst upholding your values, boundaries and limitations.
A lot of Eastern DILs are encouraged to use Dr Huangs Love Potion, yet they dont follow Rule #29 - Don't Put Up With Injustice. I truly beleive that if a woman can balance being loving and kind, and simultaneously demand her rights calmly in the face of conflict, she can get good results.
Try to remember to do acts of kindness for no other reason than that is what is pleasing to God. Your not doing it because your MIL deserves it - you're doing it because it pleases the Almighty.
I think the key here is for DILs to hold their own ground, whilst being nice and friendly. There's nothing more powerful to see a woman speak in a calm manner that she will not tolerate being violated, and if others cant deal with that then they have to realise that they have some growing up to do...
How does that make you feel? Feel free to throw a tomato at me if you don't like what I'm saying...
Renee.
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