'In Law Sickness'

‘In Law Sickness’ is something a lady described in Terri Apter’s fantastic new book, ‘What Do You Want From Me?’

I think this is perfectly dubbed: In Law Sickness - many DILS know the feeling. Feeling sick to the stomach at the sudden change in personality we see in our MILs – one minute they are on your side and supportive of what you are doing, and a split second later, they think you are scum of the earth... (or, as the lady describes in Terri’s book: a ‘soul destroying b**ch’) It’s a sickening feeling, which brings on dread, hatred and discord.

The best thing possible would be for you to come to terms with the fact that your MIL WILL do a Jekyll and Hyde on you once her back has gotten up. It may happen because you did not do something in a way her family doesn’t traditionally do, it may be because you make her question her beliefs, it may be because she realises that her son loves you a lot, it maybe because she has realised she has gotten a DIL a bit wiser than she bargained for... or it may be because you did nothing at all!

Well, she could be having a really bad day, she could have had a fight with your FIL, she could be wishing her life was a fulfilling as yours – but the fact is, she WILL so a Jekyll and Hyde on you at the drop of hat, so be prepared for it. Realise that something is out of balance with her, and remember: you are not a bad person, just because she makes you out to be one.

Take care, precious – take some emotional anti-sickness remedies: give yourself some TLC, focus on yourself, your husband and your kids, offer some prayers and meditation, listen to something that will soothe you. You are not on the same side, your loyalties are not the same, you are not the best of friends living under the same roof, and it may be time for you to face up to that.

Be the smart DIL who lets others know how she is feeling; one who acknowledges her limitations and is not afraid to admit them, the one who can say her peice and take the world in her stride, and turn your attention away from your pain body/ego and back to the Lord, Most High.

So, verily, with every hardship there is ease,
Verily, with every hardship there is ease.
Therefore, when you are free, still toil on,
And to your Lord turn all your attention.

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