Don't worry about looking bad if you haven't done anything wrong.
In-laws have an excellent knack of treating you badly and them making it look like you the one to blame - for example - The Innocent Trick
Don't worry about appearing controlling - you have right to decide how you raise your children, and the right to enforcing family decisions with your husband.
Don't worry about appearing stroppy or moody, you don't have to expose yourself to being treated badly - your husband can spend as much time as he wants with them, and you wont stop him, but you can choose not to.
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