Rule #41 - Imposing Visitors & Finding A Healthy Balance

Another area of conflict common in families that live together is when they impose their visitors on you. This is an imposition on personal space.

You are have had a busy day and would like to switch off and unwind and "Ding-dong!" The door bell chimes and its your sister in law with her 6 kids who says hello and beams, "We've come to visit grandma!".

Another scenario here could be that you have finished your housework and have made a plan to get together with a friend for coffee, your just about to leave and "Ding-Dong!" The door bell chimes, and its MILs best-friend. Your MIL looks at you and asks you to fix the tea.

This could work the other way where your in-laws have had a fulfilling week with their children, and they would like to have a peaceful time in front of CNN, when all of a sudden, you arrive with your MPV full of school children and tell everyone brightly "Junior's having a slumber party with his closest friends!"

Always try to be considerate when having friends, and encourage your in-laws to do the same. Give each other advance notice so you can mentally prepare yourselves.

If your in-laws do not give you notice, and have company over unexpectedly, or even - give you notice, but have company over so often that you have no peace, work on finding a healthy balance where both parties can be happy.

A compromise will have to be made, and both parties may have to make a sacrifice - but rest assured, having a harmonious house is much more important than getting your way all of the time.

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