We Dig Our Own Graves

During times of conflict, In-laws often say what they want to their daughters in-law. Daughters in law are made to feel guilty, and try a feeble attempt at defending themselves - getting hurt very badly.

Made to feel incompetent...

After all the humiliation, the next day everyone treats her (daughter in-law) as normal, as though nothing happened, nothing was said.
The daughter in-law accepts this as a new code,
Feeling humiliated, doesn't want a repeat of what has happened.
Goes along with the "code".
And they feel comfortable to do it again, when "necessary".

A Time for Change

She does not insult the elder, she does not be vulgar, but she says:

"I dont have to expose myself to this situation"
"It's not okay for you to treat me like this"
"I don't deserve to be treated in this way"
"Honey, I wont stop you from being with your family, but its not my duty to put up with this."

It is her right to defend herself when being oppressed by injustice.
She is not a doormat.
She forms her own code
When someone is unjust to her, she protects her integrity, and keeps her distance.

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