How much time do you want to spend with your in-laws? Well, the Drs Rick, in Dealing With People You Can't Stand, advise you work out your magic numbers!
The three numbers you work out are: geography, frequency, and time.
The further you live from them, means the visit will be less often, and last longer. The closer you live means you will see each other more often, but for less time.
So if you live with your in laws, rest assured that you will be seeing a lot of each other, more often than if you lived separate, so don't beat yourself up if you don't spend that much time with them. Go live you life! If you don't, you will end up in the danger zone - where you will start hating and resenting them in your life.
For relatives who live close by, one way of reducing the frequency is to hook up less often, or if that is not possible, reduce the time spent i each other's company when getting together. You could get together less, but make a quick phone call regularly.
If you want to decrease the time you spend together with each other, try to ensure you increase the frequency of your visits. So if you live with your in laws and don't like spending too much time with them, create more opportunities where you can be in the same room with them, perhaps stop in for a quick hat while they have their breakfast - or spend a few minutes during the day catching up. In essence, try to balance the frequency of your get togethers with the amount of time you spend during them, creating a copacetic environment for all concerned.
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