Rule #40 - Don't attack him (verbally)

Master the art of disclosing your feelings to your husband in a non-attacking manner.

When you speak to him with regards to in-law problems, don't attack him with your words, such as "You're not there for me!", "Your not a supportive husband!" or "They are treating me like dirt and you don't even care!" Otherwise he will feel triggered to defend himself and even them, instinctively.

Use "I" statements and let him know how you are being affected by your in-laws, and that you need him to help you to come to a solution.

Talk about yourself and how it affects you. Talk about how much it would mean to you if he helped you. Express how much you value his support and how secure it would make you feel.