Avoid asking your husband questions such as: "Why did your mum say this?", or "Why did she do that?" etc or you can be guaranteed his defense walls will come slamming down and he will shut you out.
He knows what his family are like, and doesn't know why! We don't really need to know why they are the way they are - although it probably would help us understand them. For now, just accept them as they are, and try to work on fixing the problem in a non-accusing way.
Express to your husband how hurt you feel when the said/did what they did, trying your best not to hurt his feelings at the same time, and not asking for any explanations; Express your hurt, show your vulnerability, and let him mull over that - rather than having him spew over the fact that you think his darling momma (who gave him everything as a child) is not your idea of a saint.
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